Your son is how old?

I didn't start to freak out about Michael turning 21 until the day before it happened. I knew it was coming, but for some reason, it wasn't until I wrote the date out on something that it really hit me that his birthday would be the next day, he would turn 21, and I'd be the parent of an adult. How is this even possible? I'm not even an adult yet. How can I be the parent of one?

It's always like this. I remember "How can I be the parent of an elementary school-age child?" "How can I be the parent of a middle schooler?" And my favorite, "I'm not old enough to be the parent of a teenager!" These are the things they don't tell you when you go to Teen Mom School. They also don't tell you that some day your child will be older than your high school geometry teacher's child, and you'll be able to give him parenting advice. If they had told us those sorts of things in Teen Mom School, I bet there would have been a lot more people deciding they didn't want to be Teen Moms.

Being the parent of an adult feels much less threatening than any of the previous landmark birthdays, in part because Michael doesn't live with me any more. I don't have to face him on a daily basis and be reminded of how old I am (or should be). But this year in general is hard because I'll be turning 40 later in the year. Another warning they didn't give us in Teen Mom School - to plan our unintended pregnancies so we wouldn't be turning 40 the same year our child turns 21. It's just not a good combination. So once again, I'm reclaiming 38. I may have to stay here for awhile. I really like 38 - it feels comfortable, and appropriate. And really, there's not much difference between being 40 with a 21 year-old and being 38 with a 21 year-old, right? Just so long as I move on by the time I would've been pregnant at 12.